This bipedal primate (Homo Sapiens FinancialMarketus Arabia) used to occupy large tracts of the Arabian Peninsula during the great boom years of easy credit. The Lehman bomb followed by the subsequent Nano Aktomic Eliminator Bomb (also known as the Naakel Bomb) dropped in the region resulted in the virtual extinction, migration or mutation of a large number of this sub species. An analysis of this species and sub species in greater detail led us to identify certain distinct migration and extinction patterns.
By definition ‘Extinction’ is the end of an organism or species. They become extinct when they are no longer able to thrive in the changed environment. Before we begin, here's a bit on the ‘Homo Sapiens Financiual Marketus’ - They were a prolific talking, good looking species, well fed and the mature ones developed beautiful feathers around themselves. During their hey days, they took an exceptional interest in dressing themselves up in finery (brands) to attract prey and mates.
The Extinct/ Migrated Species
- IPO Lead Managers - With the way the markets have been headed this summer, there is no realistic chance that we will find them in the region till around 2020, It is predicted by experts that the last of the few healthy remaining species of this class will starve to death or migrate to by the end of this summer.
- Foreign Institutional investors - They vanished by the end of 2009 from the GCC region. A few of them were seen eking a living by putting whatever AUM remained with them in emerging markets and some printing press stocks in the United states
- Real Estate Fund Managers - Scientifically they should have been renamed locusts – wikipedia defines locusts as ‘a species that can breed rapidly under suitable conditions and subsequently become gregarious and migratory. They form bands and rapidly strip fields and people. They have migrated after leaving a trail of destruction across the gulf region
- The ‘Oh I get a skin rash unless I wear Armani’ Hedge Fund Managers - In the late part of 19th century, this species roamed a certain parts of United States dressed in Stetson, cowboy boots and six gun. In the GCC a few years back these Jacksons, oh I meant these Texans…oops, I meant Hedge Managers were found in plenty investing in one hare brained scheme after the other. The last of this breed now survive in some parts of a place known as Abu Zaby.
Bomb radiation Mutated Species
Nature has an amazing way of evolving newer species from the old. Guess that’s life. The following have been found in large numbers in the region. We believe it is a mutated version of the old species.
- Chinese ‘looking’ Investment managers - Remember, they just look the part. At one instance, we found that one of them turned out to be actually the Nepali security guard of the investment bank who was given a suit by the CEO and taken for his press meetings and pow wow with local HNIs for announcing his Shariah compliant Asian Equity Fund. Today this security guard/fund manager is considered among the top Asian market experts residing in the middle east region.
- Commodities Experts - Suddenly the guy whom you knew as a equity day trader pops up with a visiting card saying Biriyani Rice & Pulses Portfolio Manager for Blue chip asset manager co.He confessed privately to us that he did not lie in the interview to get the job, he just said ‘yes’ and was not allowed to elaborate his answer to a question on ‘Does he have several years of experience in buying of these products,
- ETF Experts - Before the Bomb blast they were hidden away in the back office of a mutual fund and had not even managed to generate a proper NAV weekly is now going to give you an intraday NAV. Now they are ETF structuring experts who plan to generate Real time NAVs.
- Charitable Institution Development Manager - This has been one of Nature’s most interesting mutation. The guy whom you saw as a Private Banker/HNI relationship manager just before the bomb dropped is now chasing you for a meeting to show you some pictures of children starving in third world countries, and ask for some money. Same begging bowl in a different garb, nature’s wonders.
